The Longest Month

I haven't blogged in over a month, which was probably the longest month of my life. Between having to say goodbye to Bruiser, the icky weather, and just being in a general state of funk, I did not feel like writing much. The last month reminded me a lot of this quote from one of my favorite movies of all time: Groundhog Day. "I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life."

To be honest, I still don't feel like writing much. So instead, I will leave you with some of my favorite photos of the past month -- everything from when my hair was still long, to Valentine's Day treats for Charlotte's classmates, and even a toothy grin or two in the mix -- enjoy!

Remembering Bruiser

Love at First Sight
Bruiser had the kind of ears that were so soft, you could just pet them all day. I would often say to Sam, "I just want to pull his ear off and keep it in my pocket." Odd, I know, but I think it's related to that primal instinct that wants to bite babies for being so cute too. I remember the day I met Bruiser for the first time - July 3, 2008. He had been born just a few weeks earlier on May 6. His mother's name was Alba. I remember the breeder calling me on the phone to interview me and saying, "This pup loves the water so if you can get him to swim that would be great, also just to warn you, he is high maintenance - he needs a lot of love and will attach himself to one member of the family."

High maintenance, indeed. Those are fitting words to describe the Spanish Water Dog breed. But I had a lot of time and a lot of love to give, and naturally, I fell in love with Bruiser at first sight. He looked like a stuffed animal. On that warm July day, my pup didn't want to come out of his kennel, so I had to coax him out. Immediately he snuggled into my lap and didn't want to move. I remember Sam gave me grief because I bought him a bright red collar with some bling on it. "He's a boy dog, he's gotta be tough," Sam said.



Bruiser as a young pup



howling

That day I had a hard time thinking of a name for my adorable pup. Since he was a Spanish Water dog I wanted to give him a Spanish name, but nothing was fitting. I remember being at my mom's house in her bathroom with him and I had a moment where I remembered my mom's friend who had three dogs that I was obsessed with when I was little: Bruiser, Bonzai and Buckeroo. I looked at my pup and called out, "Bruiser!" He immediately turned and looked at me and cocked his head to one side. And that is how he was named! Naturally everyone thinks I named him after the dog in Legally Blonde since I am a crazy Reese Witherspoon fan, but that is the true story of how his name came to be. I chose "Chago" for his middle name for his Spanish flair.

I took him home to Cleveland on July 4 and he met Sam for the first time. That night we took him down to the water to see the fireworks, but he was too startled with all of the noise so we took him back to our downtown apartment.



We lived downtown for two years with Bruiser and it was quite nice in that I could walk home for lunch, walk him around, and then walk back to work. He also made a lot of dog friends downtown, including a Great Dane named Jameson and a mixed breed named Cookie. The three of them would often play off leash down by the water, chasing each other around. Bruiser was always the slowest one.

As a young pup Bruiser was obsessed with ambulances. Whenever he heard them downtown he would stop and howl loudly on the sidewalk. It was hilarious. He didn't do this as he got older, so it's a fond memory of his puppy-hood for me.


playing fetch


Bruiser playing with some downtown friends in 2008, including Jameson


Bruiser chasing the other dogs

Good Times Together
For obedience training I took Bruiser to puppy class at PetCo down the road and together we learned the basics together. I quickly learned that he loved peanut butter and it would be his preferred treat over the years. Some of my fondest memories of Bruiser include taking him to the beach in 2009 and 2011. He loved swimming in the ocean and chasing balls in the water. Often times it appeared that he was trying to catch fish, although he never came up with one!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wrts019je8k
Video of Bruiser swimming at Topsail Island, NC


man's best friend

It was true what the breeder said. Bruiser attached himself to me and followed me everywhere. If I went upstairs, he followed. If I came downstairs even a second later, he was at my heels. This didn't bother me at all actually. It only became a problem when he was too ill to do the stairs anymore.


my sweet boy giving me a saltwater kiss



The entire family in Cape May, New Jersey (July 2011)

In 2010 Bruiser suffered from a fractured vertebrae which included lots of vet visits, seeing a specialist down in Akron, and an MRI. The specialist, Dr. Vogt, was amazing and so kind. He understood how important my dog was to me and took good care of him. The MRI showed that the fracture was not able to be operated on. The doctor's orders were rest and no more ball playing. From there on out we had to be a bit more careful with him whenever we lifted him in and out of the car, and soon we purchased a set of doggy steps that allowed him to get in and out of the car more easily, and into our bed of course. We were told that the fracture could heal on its own, and while sometimes Bruiser would get sore if he ran around too much, it never seemed to be a huge issue for him.

When I found out I was pregnant in late 2012, incorporating Bruiser into the announcement was a given!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co_q8Srp-5E
"Bruiser's Big Reveal"

It took a few takes to get this shot with Sam holding up treats and saying "Speak" quietly in the background while I filmed with my new camera. I am so happy we were able to pull it off.

As I wrote about on a friend's blog, http://dogsinthecle.com/the-dog-owner-files-youre-having-a-baby-how-to-break-it-to-your-dog/, I was nervous about how Bruiser would react to a new baby. Luckily he seemed to understand from the get go the new pecking order. He would just sit and watch over Charlotte all the time. He was a guard dog to the very core.


Bruiser and baby Charlotte

Over the next year and a half, Bruiser continued to be our devoted "rat baby" as we often called him. Our family is infamous for nicknames and he had plenty of them! "Rattigan," "Swampy," "B Man," "Bruisey," "Bruise daddy," "Brew," and "B."

So many times when I would be walking Bruiser on our daily walk, I would get stopped by people walking, driving, biking, skating, etc. and they would always ask, "What kind of dog is he?" Everyone assumed he was a sheep dog and no one seemed to have ever heard of a Spanish Water Dog before. He was the only one his vet had ever met before too. Everyone always said how "beautiful" he was. Bruiser loved his walks. This breed really needs a task to keep them busy, and Bruiser seemed to take his walk very seriously. He loved to chase squirrels and look at the birds and bark at bike riders and roller skaters especially.


On one of our many walks over the years

Saying Goodbye
I will tell you that when I received the bad news from Bruiser's internist on Wednesday, Feb. 4, I took off work on Thursday and Friday. Thursday was deemed as "Bruiser's Bucket List" day and it started with early morning snuggles that were so precious to me, a car ride to PetCo for a new ball, stuffed toy and treats, two nice walks, a rotisserie chicken, vanilla ice cream for dessert, more snuggles, and homemade spaghetti and meatballs.

http://youtu.be/3M6vjYOavos
Bruiser enjoying some ball playing in the snow


lots of pets and snuggles


spaghetti and meatballs


last photo with Charlotte


ice cream for dessert

On Friday Sam took Charlotte to school and I spent the morning with Bruiser. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't extremely difficult. I cried a lot and pretty much just laid on the floor with him petting him for over an hour. Sam came home a bit later and got a chance to spend some time with him too.


our last photo with our beloved B

A little bit later we took Bruiser for his last car ride ever and it was the hardest hour of my life. I stayed with him until the very end and played him "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fahr069-fzE), and just kept telling him how much I loved him and thanks for everything. It was peaceful and Bruiser did give both Sam and I several licks just before his final injection. I just kept telling him what a good boy he is and how he is my best friend. I think even harder than putting him to sleep was leaving without him. After awhile, I said a few prayers over him, covered him with a blanket, and looked at my baby for the last time and said a final "goodbye for now" to him.

I know it will be tough moving on without him. I am not an idiot and know it will take time to heal. My house seems too empty and quiet now. I keep expecting him to turn the corner, or to hear his footsteps on the hardwood floors. I find some comfort in knowing that he went peacefully and that Sam and I were both with him in the end. He was our beloved dog and I know that he's in heaven and looking down on us. Knowing Bruiser, he's already found the nearest beach and has gone for a few swims, and has had several ice cream cones. I just hope he thinks he had a good life and knows how much he meant to us all.

I would like to thank everyone who supported Bruiser during his ITP illness the last few months. The messages, texts, and Facebook posts really helped to keep me positive, and even the messages about his passing made a difference to me on that difficult day. So thank you.

Bruiser was my very best friend and I'll miss him dearly. I love you, Bruiser.

Some photos of Bruiser over the years:


Bruiser's first Christmas, 2008


Bruiser watching for Santa - December 2012


sleepy boy snuggled in my bed


daddy's boy


Bruiser has a new sister! December 2013


Mother's Day 2014 - my two babies and me


big brother is tired from baby guard dog duty


Bruiser and his sister, Bella


Charlotte loves Bruiser too


swimming in the bay with Bella


Birdy and Bruiser


fall fun


all the gals with Bruiser, Christmas 2014


How I'll always remember him - beautiful and happy

Wintry Days with Sunny Hearts

"Let us love winter for it is the spring of genius." -- Pietro Aretino


Pet Mommy, Too
I haven’t posted in a bit and that is mostly due to the fact that my life has been a bit chaotic since the holidays. I am sure a lot of you can relate! Right after Thanksgiving we discovered that our precious pooch, Bruiser, has a rare auto immune disease called ITP (Immune-Mediated Thrombocytopenia) - http://www.itpsupport.org.uk/itpindogs.htm. This disease causes the body to attack itself – resulting in a loss of blood platelets. Bruiser’s blood platelets at one point were not showing up at all during testing – meaning he had 0. The doctors weren’t even sure how he was walking around, let alone alive. This turned into a serious situation very quickly. Bruiser has been hospitalized twice since Thanksgiving – totaling two weeks in the hospital. He recently received a human immunoglobulin transfusion and his levels were back to 100,000 – and we are hopeful that he will continue to be stable.

All of this does not come without sacrifice and a price. Luckily we have pet insurance (absolutely love the folks at Embrace Pet Insurance and I would not recommend that anyone gets a dog without also getting insurance) (Sign up here: https://www.embracepetinsurance.com/) Without the insurance I am sure we would have had to say goodbye and put Bruiser down a month ago.

Two months since the onset of this disease, Bruiser is still on lots of medications. We are hoping that after his vet appointment next week that we can start to wean him off of those slowly but surely. The prednisolone that he is on makes him pretty crazy to be honest and there are days where I truly question my sanity. Yesterday was particularly rough because I worked a full day, picked up Charlotte to be told that she hadn’t taken a nap at all because she did not have her pacifier with her, so I had a cranky, tired baby on my hands. Then I got home and had to clean up Bruiser’s puppy pads (the meds make him pee like crazy – not his fault but not the most fun thing in the world to come home to pee and scrub and mop the floor every day). Meanwhile Charlotte was screaming at me, Bruiser was barking at me, and I just had a moment where I hoped the floor would open up and just swallow me.

During the moments where I feel like I am going to freak out, I’ve found that what helps me is to make sure Charlotte and Bruiser are safe and then step outside and take some deep breaths for 30 seconds. It helps to get some clarity and perspective that while I may be having a tough moment, in the end my child and my dog and my family are so worth it. I try to think of the families that have had miscarriages or dogs that have had to be put to sleep, and I try to be grateful for what I have, and not mad about the situation I find myself in.


our Bruise daddy

The situation with Bruiser has also meant we’ve had to do some sleeping rearranging. Sam and I take turns sleeping downstairs with Bruiser every night now. Since he had a seizure before his last hospitalization (a truly scary moment for me) we do not want him doing the steps to sleep in our bedroom with us. So we brought a twin mattress into the living room and sleep down there with him at night. It’s not ideal but it makes me feel better knowing if something happens in the middle of the night that Sam and I don’t have to worry about carrying a 65 lb. dog down the stairs.

2015 – A new year, new attitude

I made several resolutions for 2015 and while I won’t share all of them, I will say that my main resolution for 2015 is to be grateful for what I have, and stop complaining and wishing for things that I don’t have. A young colleague recently passed away from a rare cervical cancer – and she was young, way too young (only 27). She was filled with life and light and her passing has definitely had an impact on me. Her desk sits empty now, with flowers on it that other colleagues have dropped off. It’s a sobering and humbling sight to see each day. While I know that I will have hard times in the year ahead, it’s nothing compared to what others are going through. I resolve to be nicer to my friends and family. I will stop complaining and instead take action to make things happen. I will exercise and move more. And I will take more pictures and enjoy the little things in life.

From my family to yours, I wish you all blessings and happiness in 2015 and many years to come.


Christmas 2014

-Amanda

Meet the Mommies: Dana Early (first interviewee!)

I met Dana Roberts (now Dana Early) the very first day of my freshman year at Westminster College. She was my next door neighbor in Jeffers Hall and quickly became one of my best friends. We liked the same TV shows (this was the year of Trista and Ryan on "The Bachelor" so that was a staple program for us), we both loved horses, and eventually joined the same sorority (Alpha Gamma Delta - go squirrels!) Our sophomore, junior, and senior years we lived together on our sorority suite and in many ways, we grew up together. The majority of my fond college memories involve Dana in some way - whether it was getting "gassed" at the Phi Tau house, pranking Laura B's bed, or driving to Applebee's happy hours listening to Michael Jackson and Nat King Cole - we were pretty inseparable those four years.

As we grew older and I moved away from Pittsburgh to Cleveland I saw Dana less though we'd always keep in touch via email, phone, and social media. I got married in May '08, she got married a few months later in October. We were bridesmaids for each other and got to share in the happiest day of our lives together.

It wasn't too long before Dana told me she was pregnant. Knowing she always wanted a family, I was naturally ecstatic for her. She had a healthy baby boy, named William.

Now that she has had her second child, she is just like the rest of us moms and struggles to find the perfect balance between career and family.

Read on for more of our interview together...

the happy family of four

Cleveland Mommy Diary (CMD): Dana, thank you for taking time to interview with me today. First off, how many children do you have and what are their names and ages?

Dana: Will (24 months) and Haddie (4 months)

CMD: Were there any differences you noticed with your second pregnancy, or anything that eased your mind since you had gone through this before?

Dana: I definitely got bigger quicker the second time around. I was less worried about certain pains and changes this time around since I knew what to expect and had asked those questions the first time around.

I carried Haddie much higher than I did with Will, at least it felt like I did. I also had more heartburn and she was born with wild crazy hair. So perhaps that wives tale is true.

It was also much easier to tell the difference between Braxton Hicks and real contractions. There was no confusing the two this time.

CMD: How much maternity leave did you get with both Will and Haddie?

Dana: 12 weeks with each child

CMD: You utilize daycare services. What do you like and dislike about daycare?

Dana: I am very fortunate to have daycare at my place of employment. I am able to nurse Haddie over lunch and see Will during the day. It is also very easy to run down there if any of the teachers have a concern they wish to discuss. I also like the teachers that my children have. They have a genuine concern about the well-being of the children they teach.

What I like least... Even though I really like the staff at the daycare, there seems to be a very high turnover. It has never been a problem for us so far, however I believe a little better consistency would be beneficial for the kids.

CMD: What was your biggest worry or concern before Haddie was born?

Dana: I was mostly worried about how exactly I was going to manage two children and wanting to make sure Haddie didn't get the short end of the stick for being second. Her "firsts" are just as important Will's. This is actually still something I worry about.

CMD: How did Will react to the baby at first and how is he reacting now?

Dana: Will loves baby Haddie. We talked a lot about her before she arrived and it seemed to help. He loves helping out with Haddie but definitely needs to be reminded of being gentle with her.

CMD: When did you and Josh (and Will!) know that you were ready for another child?

Dana: Honestly we planned from the beginning to have them close in age since we are both close in age with our siblings. I might need a few years before I can officially answer if that was a good idea or not.

CMD: I remember when Charlotte was born I was not prepared for how hard it would be to send her to daycare. What was something that you were not prepared for either the first or second time around?

Dana: Really the thing that I think about most is the first time Will said a word that I know I hadn't taught him. It was "cow". So he learned it at daycare which is a good thing as they are supposed to learn things at school. However it made me sad and somewhat jealous that I couldn't be with him all day to teach him everything he needs to know.

CMD: Since you work full time, how do you find that work/life balance that so many of us struggle with? Do you struggle with it at all?

Dana: Umm, I am still working on this one. I have been back to work now for a month and feel like I am running around with my head cut off at least half of the day. I want to be a great mother and wife and also successful at my job. So I would love suggestions from other moms about how to make this happen.

CMD: What would be some advice for moms out there thinking of baby number two?

Dana: Enjoy going to the grocery store now with just one child. It is impossible to go with an infant and a toddler. That being said even though Haddie is only four months I can't imagine her not being here. It is incredibly easy to love two kids and I wouldn't change it.

CMD: What is the worst parenting advice you ever received?

Dana: Haddie has wild crazy hair. Someone told me to cut it off. "It's her signature hair, crazy person," is what I wanted to say.

CMD: And what was the best advice?

Dana: Pick your battles. Not everything is worth worrying or arguing about because you will drive yourself crazy if you try to make everything perfect.

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The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.
Hubert H. Humphrey


Once again thank you, Dana, for not only sharing your story with my blog, but also for being such a wonderful and dear person and friend. I wish you and your adorable family a very Happy Thanksgiving.


Note: if you are interested in being interviewed for a future "Meet the Mommies" article, please contact me at amanda.meriwether@yahoo.com.