Summertime Post

So needless to say, I haven't written in a long time. I figured it was at least 3 months, but holy heck, it's been 5 months since my last post! A ton has happened since March 21, so let me catch you up.

The big move:
April - We sold 3710 Ingleside Road that had been our home for the past 5 years in Shaker Heights and made the big move back to my hometown of Latrobe, PA. It was truly a bittersweet moment for me. From the moment I first moved to Cleveland, I'd been whining in Sam's ear to move back home. Nine and a half years later my wish finally came true and then I had a panic attack. What about my CLE friends? What about a new daycare for Charlotte? What if moving back home isn't all I imagined? Leaving the house that we brought Charlotte first home to as a tiny 6 lb. 6 oz. baby was harder than I thought and as we drove away on April 13, there were definitely some tears!


Goodbye Shaker, thanks for 5 awesome years!

Getting settled in to the new home took priority because I was hosting my sister's welcome reception for her bridal shower weekend in less than 2 months. Luckily the unpacking went quickly and with a house that was double the size of our last one, there was finally room for storage! Goodbye 1,300 square foot, hello 3,000! I've got lots of plans to repaint and do some minor remodeling in the house. Right now the big project we are about to undertake is the kitchen. I hated the kitchen from the moment we walked into the house, but everything else was such a fit and I knew we could make it our own.





The main issues with the kitchen are the following: corner sink, no island, horrible green paint, ugly dark gray countertops, boxy pantry that cuts off the feel of the entire room, breakfast bar that is way too high.

So the plan to remodel is to knock out the pantry and replace that with cabinets, countertops, and a mini fridge. This will help the space to feel more part of the actual kitchen. Right now it feels like two separate spaces - a small kitchen with a small eat-in area. Combining these two spaces will make it one big kitchen! We are also expanding the opening from the dining room to the kitchen, so that will make it feel even more spacious and open. Getting rid of the corner sink and peninsula will allow for a beautiful island. The color palette is white, gray with a hint of sparkle. I can't wait to see how it turns out!

Of course this means I am thinking it's time to upgrade our living room decor and furniture. The living room is a bit of an odd shape, it's long but not wide. The black marble surround on the fireplace is going - being replaced by our new white, gray and sparkly glass tile backsplash. The built in shades are nice, but the brown color is just throwing the entire space off. The entire foyer, living room, kitchen, first floor office and dining room needs to be painted too. Hmmm, this so-called short list is turning into a long one! We'll get there!


living room pre-reno

I've always wanted a sectional in my living room but I'm not sure with the odd shape I can make it happen. I've got my eye on two different ones, which one do you like better?



This first sectional is $2,500 from Value City and it's part of Joanna Gaines' new Magnolia line they are featuring. I love the color and lines of it.

The second sectional is $2,500-$2,900 from West Elm and it's a bit darker in color, but I really love the lived in look of it. This is a couch I won't freak out if I find Charlotte jumping all over it.



The kitchen reno is not on any firm timeline, so that is helping with the stress level. I do think it will be quite interesting to manage since Sam and I both work from home now, and we've got a new puppy, a soon-to-be 3 year old and a baby on the way! That's right, in case you hadn't heard, we are expecting baby #2!

Baby on Board: Baby M 2.0 is expected to arrive on or around Jan. 23. Charlotte keeps changing her mind if she wants a baby brother or sister! I told her that we really don't get to pick! Sam and I decided to again be surprised and not find out the sex. This means a new gender neutral nursery is in store!



Rosie Rue: we brought home a new puppy in May and it's been wonderful and crazy ever since that day! We love Rosie so much and she is a really good pup. Charlotte loves her puppy sister, and Rosie gives her about a million kisses a day. I am sure Rosie will love the new baby just as much!

OK, well it's time to go supervise Charlotte on her new bounce house. In the meantime, enjoy some photos from her 3 year old photo shoot!

Passing Over the Paci: Operation Binky Beatdown

I posted on Facebook a couple months ago about Charlotte getting rid of her pacifier, and since then have had a few friends reach out for some advice on how we did it! I figured if this advice is helpful for one momma out there, I may as well share it with everyone!

The Paci Tales
The first time I really held Charlotte she had a bright greenish/bluish pacifier in her mouth. I had a rough delivery and she was immediately taken to the NICU. When they finally let me in there to see her, I was like, 'oh no - the paci!' I had read about how attached babies can get to it, and I was worried since I wanted to breastfeed her. Luckily it caused no problems with nursing, but I dreaded the day we would have to get rid of it for good. I would literally lay awake at night and think of how to remove it with the least amount of stress and crying possible. Now that I look back, I can not only laugh at myself, but I think, "Way to go, Momma, you are amazing that you care so much!"


Source: Clipart

Some experts (ahem, Dr. Sears) recommends having babies give up the binky, paci, nene, whatever you call it, at 6 months of age, but for me, that seemed cruel. Babies are still teething, nursing, and in need of soothing. Whatever your decision, don't let anyone make you feel bad about it! Charlotte got rid of hers at 2 years and 4 months, and that was the perfect timing for us.

Here is what worked for us:


1. Get your baby/toddler to only use the pacifier at naptime/nighttime. If your child still uses it a lot during the day, try weaning that down. Let them have two or three special "paci times" during the daylight, and keep it to naps and bedtime otherwise.

2. About a month before we wanted her to get rid of the "nene" as she called it, we started talking about how little babies use "nene's." If we were in the grocery store and saw a baby with one, I'd say, "Charlotte, what does that little baby have?" She would get so excited and say "Aww that little baby has a paci!" Eventually, she started saying that little babies use pacis all on her own! At the same time, we would praise Charlotte, who was also potty training at the same time, and reinforce what a great "big girl she is!" Success step number 2 is critical. Don't rush this step! The goal is for you to get your child to notice that small babies typically use pacifiers and that your child is no longer a baby. Again you want to really guide them here without coming out and saying, "You're not a baby anymore!!!"
Hint: if you notice an older child using a paci, just ignore it.

3. Stop buying more pacifiers! Why are pacifiers so easy to lose? Even with those little leashes and clips you can buy, I know I've lost over 25! I am still finding these guys all over my house as we start to pack more and more for our move next month. As you lose them, don't replace them! I know this will give you an anxiety attack, mom, but try not to freak out too much! :)

OK, so once you've mastered steps 1-3, this means eventually you will be down to your last one or two pacifiers (because you have been following step 3, right?!) and this is the crucial step. Once you decide to implement step four, there is no going back.

4. Remove all pacis and throw them in the trash! You heard me, get rid of every last one.

5. OK, mom, you're up! Pick a two week block where there is limited stress in your life. Do not pick a week where you or your spouse is traveling, or the night before vacation, or some stressful event. This will probably take a week and a half to two weeks, so really plan it out. The first night you implement the "no paci" night, anticipate some whining and crying. My advice: keep calm! Perhaps have a glass of wine at dinner and get in a really boring, mellow state of mind. Your child will inevitably look all over their room for the paci -- remain calm. Explain that you cannot find it, and it must be lost. Help your child look for it. Then say, "You know what? Even though we can't find it right now, let's read a few books. When I find it later I will bring it in to you." (You will never actually do this, and you may feel like a POS for lying, but get over it!) Stay in the room with your child that first night in particular until they fall asleep. (Note: I still stay in Charlotte's room every night until she falls asleep, and this is something I want to work on after the move. Again, do not change your bedtime routine during an already stressful time, like a house move.) If your child wakes up in the middle of the night, comfort them. It's OK to say, "I know you feel sad we cannot find your paci. Let's go have a glass of milk and I will sing you a song." Again, this is the rough time - do not give in. Just remember to stay calm, stay boring, and keep ignoring the request. You may feel like a zombie after a few nights, but trust me, this is the critical time. Whatever you do, do not give it back.

6. After a few days, depending on how you and your child are adjusting, this may be a good time to introduce a new bedtime toy! I went to the store and bought Charlotte a new pink blanket with a cute cow head on it, and she loved it. She immediately started covering up with it at night, and starting asking for the paci less and less.


baby Charlotte and her "nene"

Eventually we got to the point where she did not even ask for it anymore - about 2.5 weeks. Each child is different, so I can only speak to what worked for us. I think it's also important to remember that this is going to be more stressful on you, mom, than it is on your child. I know in the moment that is extremely hard to remember, but now that Charlotte goes to sleep so easily without it, I am like, WOW! I probably could have done this months ago. Kids are very adaptable.

Some of my friends have tried a "binky fairy" and tying a paci onto a balloon, or mailing a binky present to a baby they know. Again, whatever works best for you! You know your child better than anyone else.

Does anyone else have any tips for getting rid of the pacifier? At what age did your child "lose" their favorite?

Good luck, mommas, and thanks for reading!
-Amanda

Trying to Smile Through Tears

On Feb. 6, 2015 we had to put our beloved dog Bruiser down since he was not responding to medical treatment for his ITP illness. In a way it is hard to believe it's been a year without him already, but in another way it really feels like a long year without him. There are days where I think of him all the time, and then I go a few days and don't think of him, which I feel guilty for.



Guilt is a powerful thing, my friends. I've struggled with it for awhile after we said goodbye to him. I felt guilty for not noticing sooner that he wasn't as active and was possibly in pain. I was so busy with work and taking care of Charlotte, that Bruiser and his needs fell to the wayside a bit. For not driving to PA sooner to get him when my mom called me to say he had blood coming from his nose (he often rammed the fence, so I assumed it was due to this.) I also feel guilt for not trying the immunogloblin treatment sooner. Even with pet insurance it was expensive, and we didn't do that expensive treatment until after he had a seizure, which looking back, he never got better after that. His personality changed. I'm not sure if it was the medication, the seizure, or the illness. He wasn't the same, and as much as I wished him to get better, it just wasn't happening. Guilt will keep you up at night and eat you alive. I feel guilty he didn't get to see spring one more time, or swim in the ocean one more time, or say goodbye to Birdy, Bella, Haugs, S, and J one last time (although Bird and S did talk to him on the phone on Feb. 6, 2015). At some point you have to ask for forgiveness and just hope you did the right thing. I am thankful that we did not prolong his suffering any longer than we did.

Instead of posting this on the anniversary of his death, I wanted to write something about the last full day he lived on the earth and celebrate his life! I had off work, and we had a lovely day together. I remember it had snowed like 4 feet of snow, it was insane but typical of Cleveland weather in February! (Video here) I had put a twin mattress in our living room and had been sleeping down there on it for a few weeks. I was nervous he'd have another seizure or get sick and I wouldn't be close to him. I also did not want him doing the stairs anymore. That morning it was really cute because he had been laying on the floor to sleep, probably trying to get some rest and get into a comfortable position. But he came up onto the twin mattress, only a few inches off the floor, and he laid right next to me, and let me pet him for awhile. Maybe he sensed my unease or sadness, but just like how he did over the years, he tried to cheer me up and make me feel better. We had a nice little visit to PetCo and some great food and lots of snuggles. I am so glad I had that time with him. Bruiser had a really good life. He was spoiled. He loved his walks, snuggles, barking at squirrels and bicycles, and playing with his sister, Bella. He went with us on vacation, for car rides, for ice cream cones. You name it, he probably did it. That gives me some comfort, knowing that he had a really good life with us and that 99% of our memories are positive.



Bruiser's video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3HvDknwmss

It's still hard without him, and there are still more tears than smiles when I think of him. But I am hoping that one day I can smile just a little bit more. Maybe each year it will get a bit easier.

The Times They Are A Changin'

Two months since my last post. I really need to get better about doing monthly updates at a minimum! The holidays came and went, and it was a lovely one this year. Charlotte was so excited about her Elf on the Shelf, Cissy, and we didn't go too nuts setting up scenes for the elf. We kept it to the basics, like, "Oh, Cissy's in the tree!" and "Cissy is riding on that reindeer!" I think next year we might need to up our game a little bit on the Elf antics. We spent Christmas Eve with Sam's parents and then came home to our house. Charlotte and I put out cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. She wanted to read "Twas the Night Before Christmas" twice before bed. I loved snuggling up with her and seeing how excited she got looking at Santa and all the reindeer in that book.

Christmas morning was just the three of us at our home. Charlotte tore into her gifts and ooh'd and ahh'd at everything, except for the clothes! Later that morning we drove to PA to spend the rest of Christmas at my mom's house with my mom, dad, sister, brother, my sister's fiance, and the dogs, Bella and Lil' T. It was a beautiful Christmas!



Post-holidays we really have been hankering down on the house search and guess what? We found one in Pennsylvania! I don't want to jinx anything by posting what house it is just yet, because we have only two months to sell our home in Shaker Heights, Ohio! Our realtor comes tomorrow to list it and we are really hoping for a quick sale! Moving, in general, is just obnoxious, so we are trying to really decide what we want to move, what we want to give away, and what needs tossed! I think we've given 30 bags to Goodwill already. I've been painting and de-cluttering like a madwoman to get our house looking fresh and move-in ready for potential buyers. Living in a house for 6 years, man, you really accumulate a lot of stuff! I think I have enough baby clothes and toys for an entire village.

New addition to the family - I am excited to announce that we've decided to add to our growing family! We have put a deposit down to secure a spot to choose a new puppy! In late spring, early summer, we will be welcoming a new mini goldendoodle puppy to our home! The litter is going to be bred in February or March and will be due in April or May. We needed a hypoallergenic dog for Sam, and a dog that is friendly and good with children, and we have heard really good things about the breeder we are using and have friends with a puppy from the breeder. It's going to be a mini goldendoodle - around 20-35 lbs. We haven't told Charlotte yet - because she'd get too excited and then have to wait months and months. The puppy will be an early 3rd birthday present for her!




not our puppy, just pictures of the mini goldendoodle from the breeder's website

We could use some suggestions on names! We have a sort of un-planned tradition in my family of naming our dogs with "B" names - Brandon, Buffy, Bailey, Bruiser, Bella...so we should probably stick with that tradition since it's proven great so far!

It's coming up on the 1 year anniversary of when we had to put Bruiser down, and I've been looking at pictures of him a lot lately. I think the new puppy will help us to really heal as a family, and while we will never forget Bruise-daddy, we know he'll be happy for us and watching over us in our new home!



Until next time, blessings and love,
Amanda

What I'm Thankful For...

This time of year always makes me extra emotional. Sending Charlotte off to school today in her turkey dress - the same one that was huge on her last year - and now fits her perfectly - makes me realize just how quickly time is passing. Although there are days where it seems like the hours and minutes drag on, it's important for me to remember to be thankful for everything I have been blessed with.



This post is just shy of 9 years in the making and if you're still reading then it's time! I have a big announcement! Sam and I both made big changes in our work careers about 6 months ago. Sam took a new role in a new company, and I moved into a sales role in mine. My new bosses believe me in and push me to go bigger and better. They trust me to do a good job. They know that I can and will do a fantastic job from anywhere. Which is why when I asked if I could work remotely, they said "yes."

Which means: I'm finally moving back home to Pennsylvania!

Sam and Charlotte are coming too, of course, and we couldn't be more excited/scared/thrilled at this next chapter in our lives! I know selling our home in Shaker Heights, buying a new home in the Greensburg/Latrobe area, and just the process of moving 9 years worth of stuff to a different state will be challenging. But right now I'm envisioning myself a year from now, writing this post from the comfort of my home, just minutes away from my mom, dad, brother, and friends, and I'm happy and content and know the work was worth it.

I'll be using the best darn real estate agent in Pennsylvania to help me - none other than the talented, patient, and negotiating pro - Robin Hauger (my mom!) She already has some homes lined up for us to see this weekend, and I'm thrilled to see what more land and space looks like. My family will be able to see Charlotte more often, and I'm excited to do more mother/daughter activities and spend more time with my dad and brother. I'm so lucky they're going to get to see Charlotte grow up and be a more integral part of our lives. I'm looking forward to catching up with friends from back home, and making new ones too.

I am grateful for the memories and opportunities Cleveland has presented to us over the last 9 years. It will be hard to leave the family and friends we have here, absolutely. But last night as the three of us all piled onto an air bed in our living room to watch "The Wizard of Oz," I couldn't help but smile at Dorothy's line, "there's no place like home."

Wishing you and your families a safe, blessed, and wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.

XOXO,
Amanda

Life Lessons 2 Years in the Making

Charlotte turned 2 years old on August 26 and I wasn't with her. I was in Denver for work -- having just started my new job. I was ecstatic about meeting new colleagues and embracing a new role, but I definitely woke up with a tightness in my chest that day. Coming out of a long work day I asked Sam if I could FaceTime with Charlotte. I knew it was a risky move - she doesn't fully understand the concept of mommy being on the phone but not at home with her. She immediately started saying, "Mommy, mommy!" as I walked down the street with my new colleagues. A few minutes later she started crying and getting hysterical and I couldn't help but break down and cry right then and there on the street in front of people I had just met that day. I wanted nothing more than to be with my daughter on her actual birthday, and give her a big birthday hug and kiss.

As a new parent, I am not perfect. I make mistakes all of the time. I am constantly learning and growing. It's been a challenging two years, but I wouldn't trade a thing about it. I remember when Sam and I got married everyone immediately started asking when we'd have kids. I wasn't sure I really wanted kids, so we got a dog first. I liked my independence and routine of walking Bruiser in the morning, coming home and having dinner with Sam and hanging out watching TV. When I found out I was pregnant I was thrilled and scared shitless at the same time. What if I couldn't do it all?

Here are just a few of the things I've learned in the last two years.

1. You are going to screw up and it's OK. You're going to get bad advice and listen to it. You're going to get good advice and ignore it. Mostly because of your pride. The best thing to remember is that your baby will still love you even when you screw up. Forgive yourself easily and move on!

2. You don't get these moments back, as in, you really do not get a second chance to be present. Today I had a work colleague tell me he was missing a training call I was leading so he could take his son to his 6 month checkup. I said, "Go, you don't get these moments back." I wish someone had reminded me of that more often when Charlotte was a baby.

3. Your body will never be the exact same and you will love it even more. I spent way, way, way too many years worrying and obsessing over my weight. It was not healthy or good. Now I respect my body and want to set a good example of body image for Charlotte. No more saying I look fat in things. I don't obsess over my jean size. I've just got more of me to love! :)

4. Embrace the guilt. Don't drown in it. So many days I'd have chest pains over guilt. I felt guilty if I stayed late at work. I felt guilty if I had to leave early when Charlotte got sick. All you can do is your best. Focus on the most important task at hand. If that task happens to be caring for a sick child then give it your all and leave work for another day.

5. Ask for what you want. Do you wish you had a more flexible schedule? Do you wish you could work from home one day a week? Do you wish your husband would offer to do the dishes? I've learned the answer will always be no unless you ask!

6. Love will conquer all. On your darkest day when you feel like you really have become the worst version of yourself (to steal a line from Jerry Maguire), your child will say, "I love you, mommy." And all will be right in the world.




Thanks as always for reading and for your continued love and support. To my fellow mamas - keep fighting that good fight!

XOXO,
Amanda

Charlotte's 2 Year Photos!

I haven't posted since May -- it's been a busy yet wonderful summer! We vacationed in beautiful and sunny Duck, North Carolina in July. We had a blast our first time in the Outerbanks.

I have been busy planning Charlotte's 2nd birthday party. Her party theme is: bubbles!

Right after vacation we worked with a fantastic photographer to have Charlotte's 2nd year photos taken -- C Julia Nelson Photography.

She gave us so many awesome ones to choose from - it was hard to narrow it down!

Here's a first hand look...



















Hope you enjoyed! I will be posting some from her party soon too :)
-Amanda