Life Lessons 2 Years in the Making

Charlotte turned 2 years old on August 26 and I wasn't with her. I was in Denver for work -- having just started my new job. I was ecstatic about meeting new colleagues and embracing a new role, but I definitely woke up with a tightness in my chest that day. Coming out of a long work day I asked Sam if I could FaceTime with Charlotte. I knew it was a risky move - she doesn't fully understand the concept of mommy being on the phone but not at home with her. She immediately started saying, "Mommy, mommy!" as I walked down the street with my new colleagues. A few minutes later she started crying and getting hysterical and I couldn't help but break down and cry right then and there on the street in front of people I had just met that day. I wanted nothing more than to be with my daughter on her actual birthday, and give her a big birthday hug and kiss.

As a new parent, I am not perfect. I make mistakes all of the time. I am constantly learning and growing. It's been a challenging two years, but I wouldn't trade a thing about it. I remember when Sam and I got married everyone immediately started asking when we'd have kids. I wasn't sure I really wanted kids, so we got a dog first. I liked my independence and routine of walking Bruiser in the morning, coming home and having dinner with Sam and hanging out watching TV. When I found out I was pregnant I was thrilled and scared shitless at the same time. What if I couldn't do it all?

Here are just a few of the things I've learned in the last two years.

1. You are going to screw up and it's OK. You're going to get bad advice and listen to it. You're going to get good advice and ignore it. Mostly because of your pride. The best thing to remember is that your baby will still love you even when you screw up. Forgive yourself easily and move on!

2. You don't get these moments back, as in, you really do not get a second chance to be present. Today I had a work colleague tell me he was missing a training call I was leading so he could take his son to his 6 month checkup. I said, "Go, you don't get these moments back." I wish someone had reminded me of that more often when Charlotte was a baby.

3. Your body will never be the exact same and you will love it even more. I spent way, way, way too many years worrying and obsessing over my weight. It was not healthy or good. Now I respect my body and want to set a good example of body image for Charlotte. No more saying I look fat in things. I don't obsess over my jean size. I've just got more of me to love! :)

4. Embrace the guilt. Don't drown in it. So many days I'd have chest pains over guilt. I felt guilty if I stayed late at work. I felt guilty if I had to leave early when Charlotte got sick. All you can do is your best. Focus on the most important task at hand. If that task happens to be caring for a sick child then give it your all and leave work for another day.

5. Ask for what you want. Do you wish you had a more flexible schedule? Do you wish you could work from home one day a week? Do you wish your husband would offer to do the dishes? I've learned the answer will always be no unless you ask!

6. Love will conquer all. On your darkest day when you feel like you really have become the worst version of yourself (to steal a line from Jerry Maguire), your child will say, "I love you, mommy." And all will be right in the world.




Thanks as always for reading and for your continued love and support. To my fellow mamas - keep fighting that good fight!

XOXO,
Amanda