What I'm Thankful For...

This time of year always makes me extra emotional. Sending Charlotte off to school today in her turkey dress - the same one that was huge on her last year - and now fits her perfectly - makes me realize just how quickly time is passing. Although there are days where it seems like the hours and minutes drag on, it's important for me to remember to be thankful for everything I have been blessed with.



This post is just shy of 9 years in the making and if you're still reading then it's time! I have a big announcement! Sam and I both made big changes in our work careers about 6 months ago. Sam took a new role in a new company, and I moved into a sales role in mine. My new bosses believe me in and push me to go bigger and better. They trust me to do a good job. They know that I can and will do a fantastic job from anywhere. Which is why when I asked if I could work remotely, they said "yes."

Which means: I'm finally moving back home to Pennsylvania!

Sam and Charlotte are coming too, of course, and we couldn't be more excited/scared/thrilled at this next chapter in our lives! I know selling our home in Shaker Heights, buying a new home in the Greensburg/Latrobe area, and just the process of moving 9 years worth of stuff to a different state will be challenging. But right now I'm envisioning myself a year from now, writing this post from the comfort of my home, just minutes away from my mom, dad, brother, and friends, and I'm happy and content and know the work was worth it.

I'll be using the best darn real estate agent in Pennsylvania to help me - none other than the talented, patient, and negotiating pro - Robin Hauger (my mom!) She already has some homes lined up for us to see this weekend, and I'm thrilled to see what more land and space looks like. My family will be able to see Charlotte more often, and I'm excited to do more mother/daughter activities and spend more time with my dad and brother. I'm so lucky they're going to get to see Charlotte grow up and be a more integral part of our lives. I'm looking forward to catching up with friends from back home, and making new ones too.

I am grateful for the memories and opportunities Cleveland has presented to us over the last 9 years. It will be hard to leave the family and friends we have here, absolutely. But last night as the three of us all piled onto an air bed in our living room to watch "The Wizard of Oz," I couldn't help but smile at Dorothy's line, "there's no place like home."

Wishing you and your families a safe, blessed, and wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.

XOXO,
Amanda

Life Lessons 2 Years in the Making

Charlotte turned 2 years old on August 26 and I wasn't with her. I was in Denver for work -- having just started my new job. I was ecstatic about meeting new colleagues and embracing a new role, but I definitely woke up with a tightness in my chest that day. Coming out of a long work day I asked Sam if I could FaceTime with Charlotte. I knew it was a risky move - she doesn't fully understand the concept of mommy being on the phone but not at home with her. She immediately started saying, "Mommy, mommy!" as I walked down the street with my new colleagues. A few minutes later she started crying and getting hysterical and I couldn't help but break down and cry right then and there on the street in front of people I had just met that day. I wanted nothing more than to be with my daughter on her actual birthday, and give her a big birthday hug and kiss.

As a new parent, I am not perfect. I make mistakes all of the time. I am constantly learning and growing. It's been a challenging two years, but I wouldn't trade a thing about it. I remember when Sam and I got married everyone immediately started asking when we'd have kids. I wasn't sure I really wanted kids, so we got a dog first. I liked my independence and routine of walking Bruiser in the morning, coming home and having dinner with Sam and hanging out watching TV. When I found out I was pregnant I was thrilled and scared shitless at the same time. What if I couldn't do it all?

Here are just a few of the things I've learned in the last two years.

1. You are going to screw up and it's OK. You're going to get bad advice and listen to it. You're going to get good advice and ignore it. Mostly because of your pride. The best thing to remember is that your baby will still love you even when you screw up. Forgive yourself easily and move on!

2. You don't get these moments back, as in, you really do not get a second chance to be present. Today I had a work colleague tell me he was missing a training call I was leading so he could take his son to his 6 month checkup. I said, "Go, you don't get these moments back." I wish someone had reminded me of that more often when Charlotte was a baby.

3. Your body will never be the exact same and you will love it even more. I spent way, way, way too many years worrying and obsessing over my weight. It was not healthy or good. Now I respect my body and want to set a good example of body image for Charlotte. No more saying I look fat in things. I don't obsess over my jean size. I've just got more of me to love! :)

4. Embrace the guilt. Don't drown in it. So many days I'd have chest pains over guilt. I felt guilty if I stayed late at work. I felt guilty if I had to leave early when Charlotte got sick. All you can do is your best. Focus on the most important task at hand. If that task happens to be caring for a sick child then give it your all and leave work for another day.

5. Ask for what you want. Do you wish you had a more flexible schedule? Do you wish you could work from home one day a week? Do you wish your husband would offer to do the dishes? I've learned the answer will always be no unless you ask!

6. Love will conquer all. On your darkest day when you feel like you really have become the worst version of yourself (to steal a line from Jerry Maguire), your child will say, "I love you, mommy." And all will be right in the world.




Thanks as always for reading and for your continued love and support. To my fellow mamas - keep fighting that good fight!

XOXO,
Amanda

Charlotte's 2 Year Photos!

I haven't posted since May -- it's been a busy yet wonderful summer! We vacationed in beautiful and sunny Duck, North Carolina in July. We had a blast our first time in the Outerbanks.

I have been busy planning Charlotte's 2nd birthday party. Her party theme is: bubbles!

Right after vacation we worked with a fantastic photographer to have Charlotte's 2nd year photos taken -- C Julia Nelson Photography.

She gave us so many awesome ones to choose from - it was hard to narrow it down!

Here's a first hand look...



















Hope you enjoyed! I will be posting some from her party soon too :)
-Amanda

My Beauty Routine (or Lack Thereof)

My beauty routine is pretty nonexistent these days. My phone alarm goes off around 5:15 a.m. and depending if Charlotte slept through the night or not (most often she does) I still manage to have circles for days. My routine right now is all about being quick and easy and doing the bare minimum to look decent. (High standards here, I know.)

Moisturizing at night is a must do item for me. Forget about balancing the checkbook or doing laundry. At 9:45 p.m. each night it's moisture time! If I happen to forget to moisturize my skin ends up feeling so tight and dry that by midnight I'm reaching for the bottle like a drunk reaches for a glass of water. Right now I'm alternating two different moisturizers at night -- ANEW VITALE night cream by Avon, and Clinique's Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel.



The Clinique one is nice because it absorbs super quickly into the skin. If I feel like I need a little bit more moisture, I'll add the Avon cream on top especially around my eyes and mouth. The Avon night cream is nice and thick, yet it absorbs well too. I despise moisturizers that just sit on top of the skin and make you feel greasy, so believe me when I say these are combination-skin approved.

Moisturizing Mistake
The most common moisturizing mistake is to forget your neck. I heard recently of a video shoot where Fergie (yes the singer) refused to be photographed a certain way because of wrinkles in her neck (apparently she's super self conscious about them). The neck is an area that is seen just as much as the face, so I always put a little extra on and rub liberally into the neck and upper chest.

Lip Service
I am all about the bright lip lately. It could be because it perks you up almost instantly, or because I'm stuck in the 80s like the mom from "The Goldbergs." Truthfully a bright lip usually means I have to wear less eye makeup and sometimes that is a real treat.

LIP TIP - The brighter the lip, the less intense the rest of your makeup should be! Keep eyes simple with a thin line of black eye liner, some mascara (I'm wearing Diorshow here) and a sweep of a bronzey eye color. Another lip product I really enjoy is Revlon's Just Bitten. They feel great going on and have lasting power.


wearing Nars "Michiyo"

Your Hair is Your Best Accessory
I once read somewhere that your hair is your best (or worst) accessory. Even when I go to bed with wet hair I usually do try to do something with it in the morning. My favorite hair product has to be leave in conditioner. No, not all leave in conditioners are made equal! Trust me, I've tried most of them. My all-time tried and true product is Biolage's Daily Leave-In Tonic By Matrix. It smells amazing and leaves hair silky soft. Plus you can get it at Amazon or JCPenny's for only $26 for a giant bottle that will last you 2 years! Don't be fooled by imitators on that one. And don't waste your time with "prep spray" or "heat spray" or all that stuff you don't need that will only end up making your hair feel like wax!

That's it for now, more beauty tips and mom stories coming up soon!

Stay beautiful!

Amanda

St. Thomas, Talking, and Easter!

Ok so it's been almost a month again since my last post. I really need to get more consistent, I know. The problem is that you never have enough time. I don't know about you other moms out there, but by the time I get off work, pick up Charlotte, get home and make dinner, I probably only have about an hour to an hour and a half to actually play with my child. Then it's bath time, story time, and night night time. I am worn out by 8:30 p.m. every night! That leaves little time for cleaning (yea dream on), working out (my elliptical is collecting dust in the basement), or blogging (last thing I want to do!) I realize though that if I don't write down what is happening, it's going to be 5 years from now and I'll be quite mad at myself for not recording these memories while they are somewhat fresh in my slightly sleep-deprived mind.

So let me catch you up on what's been going on. Life without Bruiser is still very hard. Sam and I still talk about him all the time, and cry about him just as often. It doesn't take much - seeing a dog that looks like him, getting a card in the mail, or just thinking about how he loved this time of year brings a tear to my eye (well not really because I can't produce tears but my face gets all ugly and screwed up and I hurt inside). We are moving on, but still have big holes in our hearts.

In my despair, I decided a good therapy was to chop my hair off. I don't hate it over two month later, and luckily it's growing out quickly. I don't love it either though. It's just OK. I want my long hair back!


my before and after! long or short, which do you prefer?

CharCat
Charlotte is a joy at this age. Don't get me wrong - there are moments of pure insanity, where I wonder why no one tells you once the baby can walk and then the baby can run all hell breaks loose! I often spend my evenings chasing her down the street, trying to explain to a 20-month old why she can't wander down people's driveways, or why she can't eat a stick. Clearly she wants to have fun, and sometimes mom is the antithesis of fun! She is so smart and clever, she literally repeats every word you say. "Sub, peas, corn, sky, duck, horse, neigh, book..."

So here's what I need to update you on....

Girl's Trip 2015

In late February, my mom, sister, Charlotte and I traveled to the beautiful island of St. Thomas. We had an awesome time, as we always do when it's girls only! This was Charlotte's second girls trip and she truly enjoyed the island, the fresh air, and just being outdoors. She had to get a breathing treatment right before we left, and the doctor said the humidity would do her good, and boy, did it! We stayed at the Ritz Carlton and after a few wrong turns with S-cookie driving on the left hand side (side note: St. Thomas does not believe in street signs or any sort of signage on the island), we finally arrived after a long travel day! (side note #2: direct flights are in my future).

The grounds were beautiful, with a protected marsh in the center featuring iguanas, birds, and lizards. We had mostly great meals, and two not so great meals. The most fun, however, was just being together and being silly - our usual M.O.



Easter 2015

For Easter this year we headed to Washington, DC to spend the weekend at my sister's place. We went to the National Zoo and got to see Bao Bao, had a lovely dinner out with everyone including my sister's boyfriend, Klaus, my best friend, Mal, and of course, my peanut pants. She was the talk of the dinner table, and she ate a few bites of her pizza and ice cream for dinner.





Easter Sunday we went to mass and Charlotte was a very good girl. I only had to get up and leave once for a few minutes during the service. The choir sounded great and the setting was beautiful. It was so nice to be together with the whole family for Easter mass and brunch. Charlotte looked absolutely adorable and got lots of compliments on her dress, courtesy of Grandbirdy!





Charlotte loved exploring around S-cookie's condo, and seeing her MalGal again. It was a wonderful visit and we were all sad to head back.

Spring time
Now that it's spring and the weather is cooperating, we are getting outside more and more. Charlotte loves looking for "airbos" and for "tweet tweets." I would estimate that she can say over 50 words at this point - she is one smart cookie!

I was in New York for work recently, and had to spend three nights away from my girl. It was the longest I've ever been away from her and even though we Skyped each night, I missed my little girl so much. Luckily she was in good hands with daddy.

We got to see Birdy, Haugs, Josh, and the dogs this past weekend when I took her home for a visit. We saw horses, ponies, hens and cats! Haugs even babysat so I could go to a bridal shower Friday night and he had a great time with peanut. We went to Birdy's open house on Sunday, and Charlotte loved running around the huge house!


at Birdy's open house on Sunday

Because I'm Happy
Even when I am sad, Charlotte makes me laugh. She is my light, my joy. Everything pales in comparison to the happiness I feel when I put Charlotte to bed, she looks up at me, waves, and says "night night mama." This is what she did tonight. I just melt. These are the moments that I live for. And these are the moments I hope I remember for the rest of my life.



Until next time...

The Longest Month

I haven't blogged in over a month, which was probably the longest month of my life. Between having to say goodbye to Bruiser, the icky weather, and just being in a general state of funk, I did not feel like writing much. The last month reminded me a lot of this quote from one of my favorite movies of all time: Groundhog Day. "I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life."

To be honest, I still don't feel like writing much. So instead, I will leave you with some of my favorite photos of the past month -- everything from when my hair was still long, to Valentine's Day treats for Charlotte's classmates, and even a toothy grin or two in the mix -- enjoy!