The Paci Tales
The first time I really held Charlotte she had a bright greenish/bluish pacifier in her mouth. I had a rough delivery and she was immediately taken to the NICU. When they finally let me in there to see her, I was like, 'oh no - the paci!' I had read about how attached babies can get to it, and I was worried since I wanted to breastfeed her. Luckily it caused no problems with nursing, but I dreaded the day we would have to get rid of it for good. I would literally lay awake at night and think of how to remove it with the least amount of stress and crying possible. Now that I look back, I can not only laugh at myself, but I think, "Way to go, Momma, you are amazing that you care so much!"
Source: Clipart
Some experts (ahem, Dr. Sears) recommends having babies give up the binky, paci, nene, whatever you call it, at 6 months of age, but for me, that seemed cruel. Babies are still teething, nursing, and in need of soothing. Whatever your decision, don't let anyone make you feel bad about it! Charlotte got rid of hers at 2 years and 4 months, and that was the perfect timing for us.
Here is what worked for us:
1. Get your baby/toddler to only use the pacifier at naptime/nighttime. If your child still uses it a lot during the day, try weaning that down. Let them have two or three special "paci times" during the daylight, and keep it to naps and bedtime otherwise.
2. About a month before we wanted her to get rid of the "nene" as she called it, we started talking about how little babies use "nene's." If we were in the grocery store and saw a baby with one, I'd say, "Charlotte, what does that little baby have?" She would get so excited and say "Aww that little baby has a paci!" Eventually, she started saying that little babies use pacis all on her own! At the same time, we would praise Charlotte, who was also potty training at the same time, and reinforce what a great "big girl she is!" Success step number 2 is critical. Don't rush this step! The goal is for you to get your child to notice that small babies typically use pacifiers and that your child is no longer a baby. Again you want to really guide them here without coming out and saying, "You're not a baby anymore!!!"
Hint: if you notice an older child using a paci, just ignore it.
3. Stop buying more pacifiers! Why are pacifiers so easy to lose? Even with those little leashes and clips you can buy, I know I've lost over 25! I am still finding these guys all over my house as we start to pack more and more for our move next month. As you lose them, don't replace them! I know this will give you an anxiety attack, mom, but try not to freak out too much! :)
OK, so once you've mastered steps 1-3, this means eventually you will be down to your last one or two pacifiers (because you have been following step 3, right?!) and this is the crucial step. Once you decide to implement step four, there is no going back.
4. Remove all pacis and throw them in the trash! You heard me, get rid of every last one.
5. OK, mom, you're up! Pick a two week block where there is limited stress in your life. Do not pick a week where you or your spouse is traveling, or the night before vacation, or some stressful event. This will probably take a week and a half to two weeks, so really plan it out. The first night you implement the "no paci" night, anticipate some whining and crying. My advice: keep calm! Perhaps have a glass of wine at dinner and get in a really boring, mellow state of mind. Your child will inevitably look all over their room for the paci -- remain calm. Explain that you cannot find it, and it must be lost. Help your child look for it. Then say, "You know what? Even though we can't find it right now, let's read a few books. When I find it later I will bring it in to you." (You will never actually do this, and you may feel like a POS for lying, but get over it!) Stay in the room with your child that first night in particular until they fall asleep. (Note: I still stay in Charlotte's room every night until she falls asleep, and this is something I want to work on after the move. Again, do not change your bedtime routine during an already stressful time, like a house move.) If your child wakes up in the middle of the night, comfort them. It's OK to say, "I know you feel sad we cannot find your paci. Let's go have a glass of milk and I will sing you a song." Again, this is the rough time - do not give in. Just remember to stay calm, stay boring, and keep ignoring the request. You may feel like a zombie after a few nights, but trust me, this is the critical time. Whatever you do, do not give it back.
6. After a few days, depending on how you and your child are adjusting, this may be a good time to introduce a new bedtime toy! I went to the store and bought Charlotte a new pink blanket with a cute cow head on it, and she loved it. She immediately started covering up with it at night, and starting asking for the paci less and less.
baby Charlotte and her "nene"
Eventually we got to the point where she did not even ask for it anymore - about 2.5 weeks. Each child is different, so I can only speak to what worked for us. I think it's also important to remember that this is going to be more stressful on you, mom, than it is on your child. I know in the moment that is extremely hard to remember, but now that Charlotte goes to sleep so easily without it, I am like, WOW! I probably could have done this months ago. Kids are very adaptable.
Some of my friends have tried a "binky fairy" and tying a paci onto a balloon, or mailing a binky present to a baby they know. Again, whatever works best for you! You know your child better than anyone else.
Does anyone else have any tips for getting rid of the pacifier? At what age did your child "lose" their favorite?
Good luck, mommas, and thanks for reading!
-Amanda
